Syma Forum

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music.

No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827".
Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward!

Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed.
This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backwards.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar.
When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backwards.

The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed,
the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread, and a crowd has gathered around the grave.
They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.

Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"I would have thought it was obvious," the caretaker says.

"He's decomposing."

The Pilot and the Priest

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a
guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know
whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?'

The guy replies, 'I' m Bruce, retired airline pilot from Toronto.'

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this
silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.' The pilot goes into
Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father
Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years.'

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, 'Take this cotton
robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.

'Just a minute,' says the good father. 'That man was a pilot and he gets a
silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this
be?

'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people
slept. When he flew, people prayed.'

from:

http://www.trolino.com/meme/th.....r-me-81246

Now, look closely...

Syma Freak said
Two cows are standing on top of a hill. One cow turns to the other cow and says: "Are you worried about mad cow disease?"

The other cow looks puzzled: "Why? I'm a helicopter."

 

 

http://themetapicture.com/mad-.....w-disease/

Syma Freak said
Two cows are standing on top of a hill. One cow turns to the other cow and says: "Are you worried about mad cow disease?"

The other cow looks puzzled: "Why? I'm a helicopter."

Usually, I'd come back with a cow joke of my own, but right now... I'm a little fed up with them... 1 day off, 1 day chasing my pap's bull and heffer. 1 day off, 1 day spent looking for them when they never left. 1 day off, 1 day fixing the fence so they won't get loose again. 1 day off, 1 day fixing the fence here. 1 day off, 1 day still fixing the fence over here.

Little tired of the cows right now... been too long of a work week. (And I'd be working on the tractor today if it wasn't for the little detail that it's 100 degrees and I'm trying to play it safe)

Syma Freak said
Two cows are standing on top of a hill. One cow turns to the other cow and says: "Are you worried about mad cow disease?"

The other cow looks puzzled: "Why? I'm a helicopter."

DOH!!!

A BEAR walks into a bar and said can I have a---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beer please ?

The Barman says Why the big pause ?

The Bear says dont be daft, I have always had them.

Supernova said
A blonde was driving home, when she noticed another blonde in a rowing boat, in the middle of a field trying to row it.

She stopped the car and furiously shouted to the blonde in the rowing boat, Hay you!!!, its woman like you give us blondes a bad name and if I could swim! I would come over there and give you a "slap" 

 

By the way my wife is Blonde  

I was gonna say that one! Stripped down version of a joke comming up!

A blonde in the deep south walks into a shoe store, looking for a pair of alligator boots, but is horrified that they cost $300. The shoe store attendant was driving home the next day, through a small swamp on his way. He sees the blonde standing in the water with her husband's shotgun. "WATCH OUT! THERE'S A GATOR COMMING FOR YA!" he yells. BOOM! she shoots it dead, rolls it over and looks at its feet.

 

"Dangit, this one's not wearing any boots either!" (throws into a pile of dead gators)